Tuesday, 12 July 2016

i just wanna be a rock star.

This a little something I wrote the other day on a long and pondering train journey inspired by the song "Rockstar" by A Great Big World. As always, interpret as you wish.

There's a lot of talk about 'life is what you make of it'. That you should quit your stifling city job and go and live, immerse yourself in this elusive freedom, sell all your clothes and wear bare-feet as you skim the pavement. Because that's living, isn't it? That's adventure. 

What you aren't told is that working to feed a family, eating an entirely boring meal of oven chips and chicken nuggets is living too. I struggle a lot with adventure and the unknown and how all I want is to run across a field with my skirt hitched way above my knees. Unfortunately, this isn't practical. It's not realistic, it's a fantasy thrown at us by social media. That's living, they say. 

But what I can't? What if I'm working in a job that I don't love, just tolerate. What I like my overpriced handbag and my overcrowded streets and crooked smiles from watery friendships? What if I'm stuck with deadlines, car horns and aeroplanes in the sky?

-J

7 comments:

  1. I always feel like I don't "make use" of my time enough if I don't experience adventures like that or if I just lead my life and eat chicken nuggets as you said... but I think I've come to realise living is just feeling alive and sometimes it's an even greater achievement to feel alive at home, with a cup of tea after a long day at work or even at work on your computer in a job you don't like.. but just feeling alive and being grateful for it, is what it comes down too.. thanks for making me remember this again! I absolutely love your posts

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    1. "Living is just feeling alive" - yes, yes and yes. Thank you for the support. If you have any other suggestions of ramblings, do let me know :)

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  2. Wow, this post hit home.
    You write beautifully and touched something in my heart that I've been burying for a long time now. It's interesting how I've thought about this so often without really thinking about it...
    Thank you for the beautiful post.

    -T.
    x

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  3. Thank you for your beautiful response. It is so encouraging. And yes, it is something I've been toying over for a long time. I guess train journeys help the mind think clearer.

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  4. I don't know if that's really a suggestion but it kind of goes along with the topic of this post: i wondered if you ever feel like your "not using your teenage years" just because you aren't (maybe you totally are- I don't know) the young, carefree, "reckless", naive teenager that every film and a lot of stories portray... I hope you get the idea of what I'm trying to say (difficult for me to express it in english :D )

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    1. Your English is incredible - don't worry. Hmmmmm yeah I get what you mean but I think it's bigger than that. Like I do live the typical teenage life to some extent life to some extent eg As I type this I am nursing a rathe throbbing hang over. BUT LIFE IS MORE THAN THAT. Urgh it's so difficult to articulate the way I feel... I want to do MORE. Sorry if this is messy and incomprehensible - I love your support of my blog. Much love.

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  5. thank you so much! I'm sorry that this turned into a whole conversation haha
    thanks for all the answers, for me it's also about finding a balance between being carefree and overthinking which, for me, comes back down to the original topic of your post... love from germany.

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