Thursday, 31 December 2015

goodbye 2015// hello 2016






tumblr inspiration

I still haven't quite decided if I like the New Year or not. I think there's a lot of expectations that everyone just assumes can be fulfilled by one day- one night- one transition in to another January. There's also a lot of brushing over. People say, "Oh yeah that's fine- it's a new year... start fresh." But with that mindset are we ever fully finishing the canvas, or are we just painting over the scars when it  tarnishes the portrait?

I've accomplished a lot this year. This little fragment of my life. I've redeveloped friendships, strengthened them, took exams, proved to my self that I can be brilliant. I've started writing larger novels and sharing them with the world on fanfiction, I've created a youtube. Yet all of these are trivial in comparison: I've breathed. I've lived.

I don't necessarily like looking back and thinking, "Yeah, that was a good year." Because it wasn't. Because it was. Because how can we possibly box 365 days in to a single word: good or bad? Please circle. I prefer to look at moments. Time is scary. I'm scared. I get scared whenever I turn a year older. A year closer in to adulthood. A year more in to the crazy infinity of life and the universe and everything. A year has just gone of me breathing and surviving and living.
And in those days I've felt a thousand different emotions. I've seen a thousand different things through a thousand different view points. I've been me for another whole year...

Because maybe I don't want to put it to bed. Maybe I don't want to hinge everything upon a New Year because whose to say that those moments - my moments- are going to be anymore significant than a moment in another 365 days in the past or future. So I'm only going to set one goal for myself this year: to live. I'm want to braver, I want to be kinder, I want to live because living is what will get to me 2017, 2018, 2019 and so forth.

Let's all live, together.

-J



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