Saturday, 19 May 2018

lack of love (+ lots of it)

I once said to a friend: I have never been in love.

19-years-old. My favourite film is Love, Rosie and I manage to fall in love effortlessly with book characters. I dream of romance; and yet,

I can only imagine the pain behind the lyrics of those sad songs. A hopeless romantic, I am, but hopelessly in love, I have not been.

My friend replied: You have - you are. Just not with a person.

I look forward to the feeling of being hopelessly in love - the pain of it - but, for now; in the waiting, I choose not to wait.

A list of things to be in love with.

- books (particularly those that transport you).
- music.
- nature (trees, the sea, wild-flowers, the moon).
- laughter.
- creating (writing, painting, singing, anything).
- mornings.
- evenings.
- tomorrow's.
- change (sometimes hard to embrace but without it, we would never grow).
- dreams (night dreams and life dreams).

Life begins with being in love - but not with a person. I think that comes later.
- J

Monday, 14 May 2018

eleven pm to twelve + sleepy songs

My favourite time of day is when it begins to slip in to the following. 11pm to 12. It’s when I’m most grateful, most inspired and most alive. It’s just me - able to be utterly me. I put a song in my ears. Sometimes there are lyrics to sink in to and sometimes an instrumental so powerful my mind writes my own. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I smile but often I just feel so f u l l. 

I’ve always loved those moments before I sleep. When I was younger, I would simply escape in to worlds through novels. Now, I still read - I’ll always read - but I explore other places too. I pick up my pen and offload in to a journal, I’ll travel to beautiful landscapes on Pinterest or read two line poems on tumblr. I’ll stay still too, listening to that song. And If I turn off my lights and draw back my curtains, it’s to find the moon; my quiet magic. 

Below are a few of my favourite songs to listen to in this time:

Moon - Sleeping at Last 
Pluto - Sleeping at Last 
re:stacks - Bon Iver 
Little Giant - Roo Panes 
Five Foot Three - Flannel Graph 
A Message to Myself - Roo Panes 
Hidden Figures - Hans Zimmer 

Many more can be found on my Spotify playlist "sleepy" @jessiemaisie 

((I’m challenging myself to post once a week on this blog. So much of who I am has been documented here - I love reading back through old entries to see how I’ve changed. If you have any requests, please do let me know.)) 

You are loved, 

Instagram // @oceanpainter_
Poetry account // @oceanpaintermusings 
Bookstagram account // @_orshallwehaveourteafirst